Glamour

I sure am feeling glamorous these days. I spend most of my days in tank tops with no bra. My boobs leak when I nurse, so if I don't have anything nearby, half my shirt gets soaked with milk. I get spit up on and drooled on. Elaina's hands get grimy and smell like cheese. I drink a special tea that's good for nursing. As a result of the fenugreek in it, I smell very strongly of maple syrup all day. I can barely stand the smell of myself. If I'm lucky, I'll have a glass of red wine at 4 in the afternoon which leaves me with lovely purple teeth, just in time for Joel to come home and see his beautiful wife. I haven't gained back total control of some of my bodily functions yet, so that's lovely, especially when we have guests. As Im writing this, I happened to move my foot and felt something wet and gross. Turns out it's dog puke...now there's dog puke on my toes. Elaina's napping on my chest so there's no way I'm moving to clean that anytime soon. 

In the last week, I've been blasted with baby poop, wiped Ben's poop 1000 times, picked up dog poop from inside the freaking house, stepped in dog poop in the house, and watched my dog eat her poop (and, honestly, she's also eaten Ben's poop out of his little toilet a few times this week!!!!!...I very truly and honestly might kill the dog. My mom has witnessed two close calls). so much poop! Poop and sleep seem to be the only thing I talk about.

The kitchen is an absolute disaster and the fruit flies are having a blast at our house. Ben got baby powder everywhere several days ago and I've yet to clean it up. If anyone comes over, I hurry and pick up all the dirty diapers off the floor so I look at least .25% pulled together. 

Even though there is zerooo glamour to this job, I look down and see the most precious, pure, beautiful girl sleeping on my chest, sucking her tiny hand. Soft, dark hair...the softest cheeks that are too silky and smooth for words...little eyelashes clumped together with tears...little tiny breaths and little tiny toots. So beautiful. Even the toots! This job is so, so hard but being a mom and becoming a mom to a new little soul and loving my kids is the most beautiful thing there is....