Another episode of "Ben's daycare adventure"

I just wanted to give a little update on the daycare situation. So far, it's going great!

When I picked Ben up at the Taylor's earlier this week, he was exuding something great. I don't know if I can explain it...it was a mix of confidence, security, glee and just pure "Ben". When i opened the door, he was standing at the top of the stairs when looking down at me and his expression and his body language told me that he felt totally relaxed and was having a great time! It just feels like he is so much more relaxed and soo comfortable.

One other thing we've noticed in the last few weeks. ...Ben's tantrums have been DRASTICALLY REDUCED. We'll probably never know if it's because he's no longer at karen's and whatever was stressing him out there...or if he's just growing up and learning to manage his emotions a little better. Things that normally set off a giant, uncontrollable meltdown have recently only been a small tantrum. He's been able to pull himself back to reality muuuuuch faster and he doesn't go as far into the depths of irrationality...He just takes a little dip into "toddler crazy" instead of diving deeep into that tunnel! It's like we're dealing with a different person.  I'm quite shocked actually (and sooo relieved).

Arizona Vacation

Last week was Joel's Spring Break, so we took a trip to Arizona to see my Grandparents and my Great Grandma. We flew to Vegas on Saturday morning. The flight went great!

After waiting in a looooong line for our rental car, they upgraded us for free to a Toyota Sienna and we were off to drive to my Grandparents' house. As soon as we got to their house, I felt at peace. Being around my grandparents is good for my soul. Ben normally takes a long time to warm up to people, but he warmed right up to them! My Grandpa is interested in rocks, so he had tons of cool rocks around the house. Ben would go through the bowls of rocks and my Grandpa would tell him the names of each rock.

Whenever we go to new places, Ben is MAD about sleeping in new places and he screams for a long time. Well, my Great Grandma was not happy about that. She made a snarky comment about Ben needing "Tender loving care!!". Hope she forgives me! The next day, we took Ben to see a cool old train in town. It was pretty windy, so we didn't stay for long. We also rode on their ATV, saw a snake (and named him Gary the Gopher Snake), played with the remote control tank truck and just played in the dirt. My grandparents live a mile down a dirt road and they are the last house on the sparsly populated road. It's so quiet, peaceful and beautiful there! 

After going to sleep that night, things got exciting! I woke up to hear Ben coughing. I thought it sounded like he threw up, so I got up and checked on him. Oh. No. There was throw up everyyyywhere in his bed. I got Joel out of bed and we tried to clean him up. Ben had never thrown up before in his life, so we wondered if maybe he was just a little too warm or something? Well, the throw up continued through the night. His bed was destroyed, so he slept with us...and threw up on three layers of sheets, towels and blankets. We all three ended up sleeping perpendicular on the bed, which meant Joel and my legs were hanging off the side of the bed. A few hours later, Ben started to get Diarrhea (also a first...). How much more fun could we have?? Ben woke up acting fine, so we let him have some breakfast. We were supposed to be leaving for the Grand Canyon that morning. We hung around my grandparents house for a while, hoping that Ben's stomach would settle down. After a while, the three of us loaded into the car and set off for Grand Canyon. We didn't have any incidents on the drive, but as soon as we got there, Ben got sick again (out both ends...). Uuuuugh. After a quick look at the rim of the canyon, we checked in to our room early. Poor buddy kept getting sick, so I stayed in the hotel with Ben and Joel set out on a run to see a bit of the canyon.

We grabbed dinner from a nearby cafeteria and ate in the hotel room. Ben slept like a ROCK that night and slept for maybe 14 hours. I woke up early the next morning to watch the sunrise over the Grand Canyon while Joel and Ben slept. It was beautiful, but the wind was bitter cold!! I wasn't prepared for the cold!! After the sunrise, I couldn't find where I parked the van. It was dark when I parked and I couldn't even remember which parking lot I was in. I was feeling a little panicked as I ran around in the bitter cold trying to find the van!  (Can you find the dinosaur in the clouds in the 3rd picture below)? 

For the rest of the day, Ben was still feeling under the weather, so Joel and I split up again to see what we could see. He ran again and took some selfies along the way. I carried Ben and we rode the bus to different spots. It was also windy, so Ben just clung to us like a little Koala. 

We drove home that afternoon. 

When we got back, we discovered that my Grandpa had come down with whatever Ben had...and my Great Grandma was terrified of getting sick (not sure she could survive something like that...). Ben had another rough night that night at my Grandparents. We decided to drive to Vegas and get a hotel the night before our flight instead of trying to drive to the airport the morning of our flight. Ben napped in the van on the way to Vegas, so Joel and I took a little drive to see Hoover Dam and the amazing bridge they've recently built. We got a room at the MGM Signature, which was super nice!! We went to Rainforest Cafe for dinner, thinking that Ben would enjoy it...wrong...we were those parents who had the extremely bratty-acting child who didn't appear to be doing anything about it. And it was true. We didn't do anything about it. We were trying to avoid a major meltdown at all costs. A massive tantrum from a sick and very over-tired toddler is not something we wanted to deal with in the middle of a vegas casino...After bath, we managed to get Ben to bed and I got to read for an hour then sleep for nine solid hours. aaaaaaah. That's what I call vacation! 

After a solid nights sleep, Ben woke up happy as a clam. 

He was still pretty crabby at the airport, but we lucked out and got a seat for him on the plane (very last row). Somehow we managed not to have a meltdown on the plane. He was happy to clean his seat over and over and over again with wipes. 

Despite the sickness, we actually had a great vacation. Ben had fun getting to know all my grandparents a little more and I was just happy to be with Ben and Joel for so much time! 

Oh...one funny story about my Grandma Edna...My Grandma is a verrrry open minded, creative, adventurous, creative individual. She's not your typical 94 year old. Anyways, we were all sitting around the table and she asks Joel and I directly if we've ever smoked marijuana ("no, grandma, of course not!"). Well, she has. She just wanted to have a conversation about her experience. She said that she experimented with it when she was young and she described how it hightened all her senses...but she said that she decided she didn't need marijuana because she could already see such beautiful things in the world that she didn't need help from marijuana. Ooooh Grandma, I love her. I wish I could be more like my grandparents (all three of them!). She went on to tell us about the marijuana plant she grew in her house for years simply because it was a beautiful plant. Here she is, soaking up Ben's spirit. This was before he got sick. She wouldn't go near him afterwards :(

No More Karen's

Well, the past two weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind. On Wednesday two weeks ago, Joel picked Ben up at Karen's. She had all of Ben's stuff packed up in a box and informed Joel that that would be Ben's last day at daycare. We.Were.Stunned. She didn't even give us a weekend to try to figure something else out! For the first few hours, I was in shock and was mad mad mad...but we settled down and realized that this was actually for the best. It was kind of a relief knowing for sure that we needed to find someone else to take care of Ben instead of waiting and wondering every day when Karen would tell us that she couldn't take Ben anymore. We knew that the day was coming. Thankfully, I was able to work from home and then Joel had spring Break, so we had a little time to figure something out. This week, Brenna came down and watched Ben for the first part of the week and my mom took him for two days.

After interviewing some nannies and talking to some other in-home places, we have found someone else to watch Ben. Her name is Hillary and she is a stay-at-home mom who homeschools her two daughters (12 and 16 years old). Hillary used to have a licensed, in-home daycare and watched one of my coworkers kids for three years. She no longer has a daycare, but she is happy to take Ben. We've gone over there a few times this week to get Ben used to the new environment. So far, so good! Starting next week, Hillary will watch Ben four days a week and my mom will take one day.

Karen "dumped" us on a Wednesday, which is also the day we had our appointment with Ben's doctor (the appointment she strongly urged us to make). We love our doctor and trust his judgement...he was not concerned about Ben. He thought it was crazy that Karen thought that we should expect Ben to be balanced in all developmental areas at this young age. He also helped make it obvious that Ben's tantrums are worse around Karen and that it probably just wasn't a good fit between Ben and Karen. Karen said that Ben threw intense tantrums at her house all the time...but Joel and I haven't really experienced the kind of tantrums that Karen was seeing. Sure, he throws intense tantrums, but I had only seen ONE last an hour. Karen said the hour long tantrums were a regular occurrence. I just figured that Karen saw them more because Ben was with her during the day....but we came to realize that Ben's tantrums just aren't as extreme around us. Ben has been with family for the past 16 days (Joel, me, Brenna, Grandma) and he hasn't had a single hour-long tantrum. He's had a handful of tantrums that last 20 minutes or so (an intense 20 minutes! Poor Brenna had to deal with one at the park). But, I don't think that's anything out of the ordinary for a toddler. We don't know what made his tantrums worse around her...was it fear of getting bit by Abigail every day? Was it the way she handled (or didn't handle) his tantrums? We loved Karen, but she was intimidated by him and he figured that out. He needs someone who isn't "scared" by him...he needs to know that the adults around him are strong and can handle his emotions.

Joel and I are still hurt by the whole "breakup" with Karen. It makes my heart hurt that Ben won't see his friends or Karen anymore (Besides our neighbor, Natalie). I don't want Ben to get attached to people and then suddenly never see them ever again! That can be traumatic for a kid!  We talked to our neighbors a week later and Karen hadn't even told anyone that Ben wasn't coming anymore...they had no idea! When Ben breaks up with his first girlfriend, we can tell him that he already survived his first breakup years ago!

Anyways, I'm nervous for the transition to start next week. I just picture Ben screaming like a banshee for hours when we leave him there. Hillary is very different from Karen and she's definitely not the type to be intimidated easily. I'm also excited that Hillary's two daughters will be there to play with Ben and help take care of him. Fingers crossed for us next week!!

p.s. Over the past two weeks, Ben still wakes up every morning saying "No Karen's!" and he still talks about Abigail biting him. He says "No Abigail Bite!" and talks about how she got time out and Ben was sad.....so who knows if he was stressed out about getting bit. She used to bite him hard!