Well, the past two weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind. On Wednesday two weeks ago, Joel picked Ben up at Karen's. She had all of Ben's stuff packed up in a box and informed Joel that that would be Ben's last day at daycare. We.Were.Stunned. She didn't even give us a weekend to try to figure something else out! For the first few hours, I was in shock and was mad mad mad...but we settled down and realized that this was actually for the best. It was kind of a relief knowing for sure that we needed to find someone else to take care of Ben instead of waiting and wondering every day when Karen would tell us that she couldn't take Ben anymore. We knew that the day was coming. Thankfully, I was able to work from home and then Joel had spring Break, so we had a little time to figure something out. This week, Brenna came down and watched Ben for the first part of the week and my mom took him for two days.
After interviewing some nannies and talking to some other in-home places, we have found someone else to watch Ben. Her name is Hillary and she is a stay-at-home mom who homeschools her two daughters (12 and 16 years old). Hillary used to have a licensed, in-home daycare and watched one of my coworkers kids for three years. She no longer has a daycare, but she is happy to take Ben. We've gone over there a few times this week to get Ben used to the new environment. So far, so good! Starting next week, Hillary will watch Ben four days a week and my mom will take one day.
Karen "dumped" us on a Wednesday, which is also the day we had our appointment with Ben's doctor (the appointment she strongly urged us to make). We love our doctor and trust his judgement...he was not concerned about Ben. He thought it was crazy that Karen thought that we should expect Ben to be balanced in all developmental areas at this young age. He also helped make it obvious that Ben's tantrums are worse around Karen and that it probably just wasn't a good fit between Ben and Karen. Karen said that Ben threw intense tantrums at her house all the time...but Joel and I haven't really experienced the kind of tantrums that Karen was seeing. Sure, he throws intense tantrums, but I had only seen ONE last an hour. Karen said the hour long tantrums were a regular occurrence. I just figured that Karen saw them more because Ben was with her during the day....but we came to realize that Ben's tantrums just aren't as extreme around us. Ben has been with family for the past 16 days (Joel, me, Brenna, Grandma) and he hasn't had a single hour-long tantrum. He's had a handful of tantrums that last 20 minutes or so (an intense 20 minutes! Poor Brenna had to deal with one at the park). But, I don't think that's anything out of the ordinary for a toddler. We don't know what made his tantrums worse around her...was it fear of getting bit by Abigail every day? Was it the way she handled (or didn't handle) his tantrums? We loved Karen, but she was intimidated by him and he figured that out. He needs someone who isn't "scared" by him...he needs to know that the adults around him are strong and can handle his emotions.
Joel and I are still hurt by the whole "breakup" with Karen. It makes my heart hurt that Ben won't see his friends or Karen anymore (Besides our neighbor, Natalie). I don't want Ben to get attached to people and then suddenly never see them ever again! That can be traumatic for a kid! We talked to our neighbors a week later and Karen hadn't even told anyone that Ben wasn't coming anymore...they had no idea! When Ben breaks up with his first girlfriend, we can tell him that he already survived his first breakup years ago!
Anyways, I'm nervous for the transition to start next week. I just picture Ben screaming like a banshee for hours when we leave him there. Hillary is very different from Karen and she's definitely not the type to be intimidated easily. I'm also excited that Hillary's two daughters will be there to play with Ben and help take care of him. Fingers crossed for us next week!!
p.s. Over the past two weeks, Ben still wakes up every morning saying "No Karen's!" and he still talks about Abigail biting him. He says "No Abigail Bite!" and talks about how she got time out and Ben was sad.....so who knows if he was stressed out about getting bit. She used to bite him hard!
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