New Year Update

Today is the first day of 2015, so I thought I better do a quick update! I guess one of the most exciting things to report is that Ben is about 90% potty trained. He just wears pull-ups at night, but otherwise we're calling it done! This summer, Ben would frequently wear underwear, but I thought it was too early to really push him, so we just let him do it for fun whenever he wanted. Over Christmas break, we started having him wear underwear and we haven't looked back. We're out of diapers and I'm hoping not to have to buy anymore for a while! For the first week of Christmas break, Joel and I would try to remind Ben to go potty...but he would resist and fight us. I thought this was maybe a sign that he wasn't ready...but, instead, he just goes whenever he feels like it. We'll be playing and suddenly he'll sprint to the bathroom and slam the door. Pretty soon we hear the toilet flushing and the sink turn on. We come in at the last minute to help him wipe, but otherwise he is totally self-sufficient. It blows me away how independent he is. I joked that Ben would just potty train himself, since he's managed all other big transitions in his own, independent way. We have a few more days of Christmas break and then it's back to the Taylor's...hopefully his potty training habits carry forward to their house!

  Another fun thing about Ben that has become more developed in the last few months is his sweetness!! Oh my goodness, that kid pours on the charm! On a normal day, he tells us mannnny times throughout the day "mommy, I yike you" or "daddy, you're nice". Often, those words are followed by a hug around the legs or a kiss to whatever body part is closest to him at the time. He says this at anytime....while we're playing, eating dinner, going for a walk or loading into the car. It melts my heart every.single.time. When we tell him "I love you", he often says it back. The thing that kills me is his sweet, sincere voice and the way his big eyes look up at me when he says it!! Gah! How did he learn to be so sweet??? He's also a big snuggle bug. I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but one of his favorite things to do is bring a big stack of books home from the library and spend an HOUR sitting on the couch snuggled with mom or dad, reading every last one. He likes to snuggle us both before bed (we call it Sandwich time), we snuggle on the couch watching movies, we snuggle in the love sac after nap, we snuggle a lot with that little guy!! He sure fills my love tank!! (How many exclamation points did I use in that paragraph?). 

Oh...I guess I have more sweet things about him...he seems so thoughtful of others. He is hyper-aware of what others are doing all the time and wonders why they're doing it. This comes out as sweetness a lot...he'll notice a new shirt of mine and tell me that he thinks it's pretty. Or, the other night, I did my hair for a date with Joel. I came out of the bathroom and Ben immediately told me my hair looked pretty. My mom got a new kitchen table and Ben's first comment was that it looked nice. It blows me away how aware he is of other people! I hope to continue to nurture that trait! He is also EXTREMELY sweet around babies. OMG. He has lots of babies in his life. His cousin Aldon, our neighbors just had a baby, and he also has 2 babies at the Taylor's and 2 babies at the Stueckle's on Mondays. He looooves holding babies. The first time I saw him hold a baby was our neighbor baby, Camden. Ben turned into a giant puddle of mush. He sat on the couch with the baby in his arms and had the most dreamy look on his face. He gently touched the baby's face and hands and leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. He didn't want to give the baby up! The first time Ben held Aldon was even sweeter. Ben kept trying to snuggle closer and closer to Aldon, so pretty soon they were all smashed together in an awkward heap on the couch. It was almost like Ben was in a trance! He kissed Aldon and just wanted to keep snuggling. He talks so sweetly about the babies at the Taylor's and Stueckle's, When we talk about the possibility of Ben being a big brother some day, he gets all mushy and his voice gets all sweet and soft as he tells us that he'll hold the babies in his arms and how tiny they'll be. Gah. His sweetness kills me. 

So, wanna hear the flip side of all that gushiness? The sweetness is the norm....but on occasion (sometimes more frequently than others), his other side comes out. And I don't have much patience for this side of Ben! ugh. He's started a new thing where he demands us to "listen!". If we're not letting him get what he wants, he'll demand "Listen! Listen! Mom! Listen!". It's quite funny, but that habit can't be allowed to stick around! I don't know where he learned this. Neither Joel or I say "listen" and I'm sure the Taylors don't. When he resists stuff, he usually resists furiously and strongly. Also, he still throws the occasional MEGA TANTRUM. The other day when Joel's parents were here, Ben was being rude to Emma. I calmly took him upstairs for a time out. As soon as I set him down, he melted dowwwwwn. Eyeroll. After battling with him to stay in his room, I decided it was time for bed. Putting jammies on him when he's having a tantrum like this is nearly impossible. I had to sit on him just to barely manage to get his pants on (I was laughing out loud at this point because it was so crazy). I came down stairs to see Joel's parents looking terrified. Their eyes were wide open and they were awkwardly trying to talk about happy things and ignore the screaming octopus upstairs. A while later, Ben started to wind down, so I went upstairs. After a few minutes of me sitting with him, his tantrum turned off like a light switch and he suddleny started talking happily about something else laughing and joking as he was telling me about whatever it was. As fast as his tantrums turn on, they turn right off again! (I just read through this paragraph and it dawned on me that his Mega Tantrums aren't as "Mega" as they used to be. He hasn't banged his head against the wall or floor in a long time and these Mega Tantrums never last as long as they used to...so, that's good!!)

Ben is sweet to 99% of other people. The only exception is our poor neighbor boy, Kyler. Kyler loooooves Ben. Everytime Kyler sees Ben out the window, Kyler begs his mom to let him go outside to play. Kyler is always asking where his "buddy, Ben" is and if he can play. Kyler is a well-behaved, easy going, sweet kid (he's 8 months older than Ben). For some reason, Ben is so rude to Kyler! When Kyler comes over to play, Ben bosses him around and says rude things to him. When they're playing cars, Ben just bulldozes Kyler all the time with a mean look on his face. Whenever Kyler is around, Ben simply acts MEAN. He gets a mean look in his face and his voice is mean and pretty much all his actions are mean. This is the only time I see Ben like this. He doesn't get like this with his cousins, or other friends...or other strangers that he meets at the library or whatever. Most of the time, he's a normal person around other kids. I can't figure out why he's like this with Kyler! I feel SO BAD. We have to bribe Ben just to go play at Kyler's house....but that backfired a few weeks ago when Ben came back home waaaaailing just two minutes after being at Kyler's house. hmmmm. I was trying to analyze it...and you know how it's a common thing for kids to be mean to kids of the opposite gender who "like" them? I kind of wonder if it applies to all people, not just the opposite gender. Because Kyler SO OBVIOUSLY likes Ben, I wonder if Ben picks up on that and feels the need to resist equally strong. I've noticed similar reactions with Ben and adults. With adults that don't try too hard for Ben's attention, Ben seems to open up to them more and has an easier, more relaxed relationship with them...but the adults that try too hard to give him attention or make him like them, Ben resists them more. So, since Kyler tries REALLY hard to play with Ben, it's almost like he's resisting extra hard. Weird...

A few things about Ben's language...He still says "Ben" instead of "I" 99% of the time. This is an improvement, though, because he used to say "Ben" for "I" and "me"...now at least he uses me/mine/my properly. It's hard to try to get him to say "I"....but I feel like we need to get better about it before it becomes too ingrained in his mind. Another thing is that he can "spell" his name. He says "B-E-N spells Ben!". He recognizes those three letters anywhere. It's fun to see him start to learn his letters. We play with magnetic alphabets at home, and the Taylors are working with him a lot on his alphabet and identifying letters.

Below are a few emails that I've sent to my sisters recently. Basically, my emails with them should all be documented in this blog...

Ben has been telling such long, elaborate stories lately. They're just getting longer and longer and more detailed and imaginative!  And he tells them with such conviction that I sometimes wonder if something really happened to him. A while ago he told me an elaborate story about how he got knocked over by a car in the street and got hurt.  Tonight he was telling me a really long story...I wish I could remember more of it...but it involves bad guys and shooting (i have no idea how he knows about bad guys and shooting!). This particular section of the story was seriously 10 minutes long. Somewhere in there, it also involved alligators and crocodiles coming up the street.  I've mentioned before that when Ben talks about animals that could be scary (wolves, bears, dragons), Ben is so sure that when the animals meet him, they'll be happy and nice to him(and want to shake his hands and say "nice to.meet you" and have good manners). Today when he was talking about the bad guys he said that they would be happy when they saw Ben...but that they would still be bad guys....they still wouldn't be nice like Ben. It fascinates me how he processes possibly scary things!!

Also tonight at dinner, Ben said something again about Habi and Ding Dong. We asked who they are (we already know)..he casually said they are his sisters. Haha!  Tonight was just one long story!  It just wove through the whole evening no matter what we were doing. Gaaaah. I'm obsessed with his little brain!!!

side note about Habi and Ding Dong. He continues to tell us that he has two sisters named Habi and Ding Dong and when they come out of mommy's tummy, he will hold them in his arms. He has talked about Habi and Ding Dong for months! I have no idea where it came from! The other day he told us we needed to talk quiet because there are two babies asleep in the house. 

11/24/14:

Guys...i had another heavenly weekend with Ben. How can he be so perfect and sweet? I'm seriously concerned that since he is so easy, that my next kid will be difficult.  There's no way I would be lucky enough to get another as easy,  perfect, sweet, well behaved and polite as Ben....is there? ??

Ben and I baked a ton yesterday. Like I said in my text yesterday, The whole time he repeatedly said "Ben yikes you" in such a sincere, sweet voice. And the fact that he wanted to wear underwear...it was his idea...i have a feeling he's going to potty train himself. That's what he's done with other big transitions...He just takes care of it himself. I feel SO OBNOXIOUS gushing about ben so much but it can't keep it in. My heart overflows!!!!