Happy Three weeks to our sweet Benjamin. How did I get so lucky? I stare at him and am consumed with his preciousness. All I can say is "He is so cute"! But it's more than just cuteness. I can't wrap my head and heart around the preciousness of his little soul. Last weekend I had a very emotional day. Among other things, I was upset because I'm never sure what exactly Ben needs. Is he getting enough to eat? Am I giving him everything he wants and needs? He is so perfect and I want to be perfect for him (And for my dear husband). But, obviously, I am faaaaaarrrr from perfect.
Last night, I decided that I wanted to start to get Ben to eat full meals instead of snacking all day long everytime he fusses. So, we woke up and he had a good meal. Then, I kept him occupied for two hours before feeding him again. As I layed in bed, I also thought about how to get him to take naps and improve his sleeping habits. He likes to fall asleep while nursing and then nap on my chest. I was scared that I was setting bad habits and I want him to be able to fall asleep on his own. So, last night, I decided I would first try to improve his eating habits and then we'd work on his napping/sleeping habits. Today, after he ate, he was still awake. I put him in his swing and he fell asleep on his own!! Before, he never really liked his swing. MAybe I was just always putting him in the swing at the wrong time. Today, he was fed and had a clean diaper when I put him in. This makes me sooo happy! I'm teerrrrrified of having to do the dreaded "sleep training", so I have a glimmer of hope that maybe we can figure something else out and we can set good sleeping habits early. I am FULLY aware that in a day or two or in a few weeks, I may be eating my words....But, I am just writing about what is happening right now :) I'm not making any predictions of how long this will last.
At Ben's doctor appt this week, he weighed 10 lbs, 11oz. That's a full 15 oz more than he weighed at his appt 6 days before!! The doctor had been concerned that he hadn't gotten back to his birth weight at his 2 week appt, so I started pumping to supplement. Joel would feed Ben 1 oz each night before bed. I don't think the bottle is what made him gain ALL that weight. I think my milk has been coming in (letting down?) faster, so that probably contributed to the weight gain as well.
We have good days and we have not-so-good days...but so far, the good days outnumber the not-so-good days. I can tell that he is becoming calmer. For example, he no longer screams everytime we change his diaper. In fact, the other day he enjoyed having his diaper off for an extended period of time. He cries much, much less than he did before and has long stretches where he is awake and content to stare out the window. I'm learning more about him all the time, even though I can't pinpoint exactly what I'm learning...it's just like a dance...we're just learning how to move and function together. I LOVE IT!! My heart is so overfilled with Love and Thankfullness for my little guy!
I want to mention my sweet husband. I am also filled with gratitude and love for him. He wakes up to change Ben's diapers in the middle of the night without a single grumble. He has totally picked up all the household chores that I normally do. It was a totally seamless transition (as far as chores, etc go). I never had to ask Joel to pick up the slack...he just comes home from work and cleans, cooks and does laundry...along with anything else I ask him to do. Today, I found a to-do list on Joel's night stand. It included:
-Jesus Loves You song for Ben
- Bible stories for Ben
-Bible Lulabys to sing to ben
-Mathe West Safe and Sound
-Lose My Soul Toby Mac
- Sanctus Real Lead Me
I started crying as soon as I saw this list. I love this little piece of evidence of what is going on in Joel's mind.
That's all for now! So much has happened and changed in three short weeks! I can't believe it's been three weeks. The days, nights and weeks are FLYING by!! It's so cliche, but so true!
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